The Bitch!!!!!!
Jumping on a Circle Line Tube last Friday I managed to pick up the last free Metro (free daily newspaper) in the carraige, much to the annoyance of another chap who was also reaching for it.
He sat across from me glaring through his huge designer glasses, with his gelled quiffy hair boufont making him look like an angry "Hank Marvin" from the Shadows. His delacte little legs crossing and uncrossing whilst he picked aggresively at his manacured fingers. All in all he looked like some kind of angry insectoid in his pin striped suit, pink shirt and horrible tie. Muttering to himself and staring across at me for the whole journey to South Kensington.
It was quite surreal, I was being harrased by some suited queen that must have weighed less than 8 stone dripping wet! I stood up as the train approached my stop. I looked directly at him smiling as I placed the Metro down on my vacated seat. Quick as a flash I grabbed my ruck sack and then once again grabbed the Metro, folding it whilst grinning like a Cheshire cat in my sack it went! Well! it was hilarious the suited queen was crackling with fury! The crossing and uncrossing of legs were now becoming a serious fire hazard. It was due to the fact the suit was a good quality one that he/she did not spontainiously combust and go up in a poof of pink smoke!
Livid he ranted "now he is taking my paper with him!" "Oh I should slap YOU!" he seethed. I drew to my full height (6 foot1 and 16 and a half stone) and leaning over him said "I don't think you should try that!" Wide-eyed he sat back and for once was silent.
The train stopped and I got off. The irrate queen was stood at the carriage door still hissing and spitting, the last thing I heard him screech was "I hope you die this weekend you bitch!" A little extreme I thought, death curses over a free newspaper!
Another passesnger walking along side me could not hide his mirth, tears were rolling down his cheeks. "Mate", he said "that was so funny I wish the fag had slapped ya! it would have been horrible" Chuckling he dissapeared into the crowd.
He sat across from me glaring through his huge designer glasses, with his gelled quiffy hair boufont making him look like an angry "Hank Marvin" from the Shadows. His delacte little legs crossing and uncrossing whilst he picked aggresively at his manacured fingers. All in all he looked like some kind of angry insectoid in his pin striped suit, pink shirt and horrible tie. Muttering to himself and staring across at me for the whole journey to South Kensington.
It was quite surreal, I was being harrased by some suited queen that must have weighed less than 8 stone dripping wet! I stood up as the train approached my stop. I looked directly at him smiling as I placed the Metro down on my vacated seat. Quick as a flash I grabbed my ruck sack and then once again grabbed the Metro, folding it whilst grinning like a Cheshire cat in my sack it went! Well! it was hilarious the suited queen was crackling with fury! The crossing and uncrossing of legs were now becoming a serious fire hazard. It was due to the fact the suit was a good quality one that he/she did not spontainiously combust and go up in a poof of pink smoke!
Livid he ranted "now he is taking my paper with him!" "Oh I should slap YOU!" he seethed. I drew to my full height (6 foot1 and 16 and a half stone) and leaning over him said "I don't think you should try that!" Wide-eyed he sat back and for once was silent.
The train stopped and I got off. The irrate queen was stood at the carriage door still hissing and spitting, the last thing I heard him screech was "I hope you die this weekend you bitch!" A little extreme I thought, death curses over a free newspaper!
Another passesnger walking along side me could not hide his mirth, tears were rolling down his cheeks. "Mate", he said "that was so funny I wish the fag had slapped ya! it would have been horrible" Chuckling he dissapeared into the crowd.
posted by The Quill of Stu at 9:30 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home